So, I’ve been having this feeling. Its awful. Everytime I feel it I ponder what death would be like and I consider the reality of death to end this. It took me awhile to figure out what it was. It’s pain. So simple, but emotional pain hurts deep down, and its just so awful. I’ve been feeling it more and more for the past month. Its the worst thing, I’d do anything to be rid of it. Not to say I’m suicidal. I’d never have the balls to do that. But that could be why I’ve been smoking so much recently.
Zak.
It seems the days progress only to make our relationship worse.
I don’t know, everything he does is so self centered nowadays. Perhaps thats just my feeling though. But I just can’t see it anymore. He was totally rude to my parents today, which isn’t okay. Everyone knows that its impolite to text at the dinner table, He didn’t stop texting after my parents mentioned it the first time either. I don’t care if it was for work, if it was that important he should have just excused himself. Especially since my parents took him too a nice restaurant AND paid. There was that, and more. I don’t care if my stepfather drinks, you still need to fucking respect him because he’s your fucking elder. Don’t give him that attitude, you can talk all the shit you want to me later.
I feel our relationship is purely physical at this point. Its not but, its getting there. Its so close to that. He hardly ever hangs out with me, every moment we appear to get that we can have to cuddle, it seems like he has an excuse for why he must leave.
No.
He always has an excuse for why we can’t be alone together.
To top it off, the lack of money or gas is no reason for why he can’t hang out. For the first 2 years of our relationship, you had no money, and you had no car. Get the fuck out of here with that shit.
We didn’t do anything for our anniversary either.
Remember when you put the pennies in the fountain? I miss cute shit like that.
But no more. Never more.
Since you have a car and job, you’re beyond shit like that.
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